One Month Clean!

sunset hiker
Watercolors and marker, 5/26/18

I let the cat out of the bag on May 19th. May 20th was my first full day of sobriety. It’s officially June 20th and I am ecstatic to have reached my first month of sobriety!

This month has felt like a lifetime in the best possible way. I’ve accomplished more than I ever imagined possible.

I have a new job

I painted a dozen or so water color paintings. (Update 7/14: I’m still painting! In fact, all of the art featured on this site is mine – created during recovery. Follow me on Instagram to see more! @wet_my_bristle)

I’ve attended two Refuge Recovery meetings each week. This is a Buddhist inspired approach to recovery. I highly recommend looking into them.

I read four books on Buddhism. Check out the Books page to see what I’ve read throughout my recovery to date.

I built this website.

I reconnected with friends.

I reconnected with myself.

I feel closer to my sister than ever.

I’ve embraced vulnerability.

I picked up a daily meditation practice.

I’ve learned to have compassion for myself.

I’ve found peace in confronting my demons.

I’ve watched my physical appearance improve day to day.

I have not let up in asking myself difficult questions to ensure I fully understand what led to such self-destructive behavior.

It’s hard to believe how glum my outlook on life was just one month ago. I feel like an entirely different person. I still have a lot of work to do. Some days are better than others. Even the good days aren’t entirely filled with joy. There is a reason this is called recovery. I am digging deep to uncover any and all things that have caused me hardship—any resentments, sadness, shame, anger, etc—and taking them head on. I can’t afford to fall short of extinguishing every single thing that troubles me. This means continuously and relentlessly fighting battles until I have a better understanding of what caused all of this in the first place. It takes a lot of patience and effort but it’s been extremely rewarding.

I’m back to living an honest life, this time with a sense of purpose and greater understanding of myself. My life is more fulfilling than it has ever been and I’m only getting started. I look forward to finding out what the future holds.

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Hello, Mara is an ongoing project seeking continual improvement. If there are any resources you would like to see added to HelloMara.com, please e-mail directly at TakeOnMara@gmail.com

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