I let the cat out of the bag on May 19th. May 20th was my first full day of sobriety. It’s officially June 20th and I am ecstatic to have reached my first month of sobriety!
This month has felt like a lifetime in the best possible way. I’ve accomplished more than I ever imagined possible.
I have a new job
I painted a dozen or so water color paintings. (Update 7/14: I’m still painting! In fact, all of the art featured on this site is mine – created during recovery. Follow me on Instagram to see more! @wet_my_bristle)
I’ve attended two Refuge Recovery meetings each week. This is a Buddhist inspired approach to recovery. I highly recommend looking into them.
I read four books on Buddhism. Check out the Books page to see what I’ve read throughout my recovery to date.
I built this website.
I reconnected with friends.
I reconnected with myself.
I feel closer to my sister than ever.
I’ve embraced vulnerability.
I picked up a daily meditation practice.
I’ve learned to have compassion for myself.
I’ve found peace in confronting my demons.
I’ve watched my physical appearance improve day to day.
I have not let up in asking myself difficult questions to ensure I fully understand what led to such self-destructive behavior.
It’s hard to believe how glum my outlook on life was just one month ago. I feel like an entirely different person. I still have a lot of work to do. Some days are better than others. Even the good days aren’t entirely filled with joy. There is a reason this is called recovery. I am digging deep to uncover any and all things that have caused me hardship—any resentments, sadness, shame, anger, etc—and taking them head on. I can’t afford to fall short of extinguishing every single thing that troubles me. This means continuously and relentlessly fighting battles until I have a better understanding of what caused all of this in the first place. It takes a lot of patience and effort but it’s been extremely rewarding.
I’m back to living an honest life, this time with a sense of purpose and greater understanding of myself. My life is more fulfilling than it has ever been and I’m only getting started. I look forward to finding out what the future holds.
Hello, Mara is an ongoing project seeking continual improvement. If there are any resources you would like to see added to HelloMara.com, please e-mail directly at TakeOnMara@gmail.com